It's A Bird, It's A Plane! It's, it's ...

This morning, while getting something in the back corner of my closet, I came across two capes.  I mean Wonderwoman or Superman-type capes. The Real Thing Capes. Sparkly and fabulous.  One, with a big “K” on it and the other with a big “G”.  They were made for us eleven years ago by our dearest friends when they had just found out that we had won a major battle with our (at the time) insurance company.  I don’t feel it is appropriate to call out said insurance company because whenever I mention the name I am suddenly brought back to the time when they seriously tried to mess with our lives more than they should have. It makes me angry and disgusted all over again.  I don't want to speak ill of the company.  They were just doing their job.  Oh – okay – the company rhymes with Tarvard Shilgrim Fealthcare.   Our insurance battle story (and it’s not a funny one, folks…) is definitely a write and read with a glass of wine in hand. It’s a doozy.  In the end, we WON and rocked the universe, but this is definitely not the time or place for that story.  Maybe later.

Anyhow, I came across the capes just before my run this morning and for the next hour, thought about what I’d choose for a superpower. 

I wouldn’t want the ability to become invisible.  If I’m going to commit to talking and being with peeps, I’m all in – good, bad or otherwise ‘cuz it is, after all, all about me.  (Shameless plug for this new here hobby, I just took on…)

I’d not want the ability to fly.  I don’t love the idea of flying over big bodies of water.  I’ve clearly done it but in, what I believe to be, the capable hands of skilled pilots.  If I were the one responsible for getting myself from Point A to Point B, I’d not have such confidence.  Plus, I’m sure I’d get myself lost. Did I tell you that I once got lost coming home from Milford?  For reals.

I’d love to have the ability to eat whatever I want, but that is attainable and real superpowers aren’t…well, I guess superpowers aren’t real, but you know what I mean.  I could eat whatever I want if I was willing to exercise 23 hours a day.  Just not possible.  When would I have time to write my blog?

I guess that if I could choose my own superpower, it would be to be able to fast forward time to pass by the icky stuff and on to better things. 

For instance, when in the shower, I would fast forward to already being out with dry hair because I get crabby thinking about how cold I’ll be when the scalding hot water is turned off.

When starting my runs, I would fast forward to being done.  Plain and simple.

When in a situation where I have to meet someone new (in a social situation, not work related), I would fast forward past the small talk.  If you are reading this, youlikely know my feelings on small talk.  Thank you, facebook.

When home from work, I would fast forward to already being in my pjs. (Although I have to say that I do that with alarming speed without any superpowers at all.)

When  in my freezing cold car in the morning, I would fast forward all the way to June when my world is nice and toasty, but not yet too toasty.

I would love to fast forward to the end of conversations I have with H and M about Santa Claus and The Tooth Fairy  because I feel guilty and worry that they will never trust us again.  I swear I was 18 when I stopped believing in Santa so we've got some time.

If I could, I would fast forward getting off the plane and already have my feet in the sand – anywhere, any time – ever.

If I could, I would skip directly from walking in to a car dealership to walking out with a new car.  It hasn’t happened in a while, but I am always so uncomfortable at the banter that goes back and forth.  It makes me nuts.

Being able to fast forward through the Best Make-Up and Sound Effects Awards and get to the Best Movie Awards would be great.  I'd lose so much less sleep.  Sorry Avatar.

I wouldn't miss fast forwarding through the entire telemarketing spiel each night.  I'd just as soon be at the part where I'm back eating dinner with my family explaining to H and M that, while they are just doing their job, it makes us crazy. 

On New Year's Eve, let's just get to the part where they show the couple getting engaged.  Definitely don't need to see any more horrible performances of bands I don't know.  It just makes me feel ancient.

I could go on and on and on with what this superpower could do. I'm pretty sure that I'd love the idea. 

I'm also pretty sure that I would not want to fast forward what is happening upstairs as I type this.  Two crazy ten year olds are squooshed in to one twin bed, happy as can be.  ("It helps if we have bad dreams.")  Don't get me wrong.  I wouldn't want a superpower to freeze them.  We've loved every age they have been.  I know we will love every minute of them at any age.  But I definitely wish that this would last forever.