Choices

This morning, I sang and played at a funeral for a 23 year old boy from Franklin who died of a drug overdose. 

I knew a few folks in the very full congregation and, of course, know many people who are (as he very likely was) just out off college, trying to figure out the whole "life" thing.

Although I didn't know this kid, I had a very difficult time getting through the mass.  It was all I could do to not start bawling uncontrollably, thinking about the many "kids" in my life and I said a special prayer for them.  If I could have wrapped them all in my arms at that moment, I would have, just to know that they were safe. Right then.

And then, of course, I thought of H and M.  Right now, when they make a "bad" or "unfortunate" choice, it amounts to hip checking her sister as she walks up the steps or not studying as well as she should have for a math test and brings home a 86 instead of a 96. 

These choices, I can live with. 

But as a parent, how do you do it when you kid (who's surely a great kid) just makes some choices that he shouldn't make.  Choices that you know aren't the right ones.  Choices that affect his life forever.

Sometimes I think the parenting thing (whether we are parenting our own children or ones that we love like our own) is so damn scary. 

I think I'll be on the verge of crying all day.  Ugh.