Apples and Oranges

August 17, 2013-November 17, 2013
 
During these three months, I have:

...
...
um...well, I ...ah ...
oh right, remember that time when I ...
and, of course there was the day when they told me that I couldn't...
...
well, I think I sort of did that thing when I ...
...wait a minute!  I remember now.  I did the...
I'm pretty sure that when I had the ... um ... you know the ...
...well, I guess now that I think of it, I've not accomplished all that much.
Humph for me.

During these three months, my mom:

was on a boat and hit a wave. The boat went down, she went up and when she landed, she lost the ability to move or feel from the waist down.
was med-flighted/airlifted from the cape to Tufts Medical Center
had a successful surgery but was told that she may not walk again.
Yup.  I said that. 
left the hospital and Spaulding Rehab in record time and has been working her arse off to get better each minute.
didn't listen to anyone who said "you can't", "maybe you shouldn't", "I don't know if", or "I don't think you're ready to"...
is determined, each day, to do something that she's not been able to do the day before.
continues to "wow"her physical therapist each week.
has been told by her surgeon and neurologist that she is a "miracle".
Yup.  I said that.
is walking, driving, cooking and working.
Oh, and last night, she and my dad went to a big shin dig for my dad's work in Boston and ... um ... she danced.

That's what she's done in three months.

Do you feel like as much of a loser as me?

A-MAZ-ING.
Yup.  I said that.

Giving Thanks

You know those toy cars that, when they bump up against a wall, they flip around and do whatever they need to do to keep moving forward? Well, that's my mom. And on another note, as I was driving in to Boston last night, I was thinking of this year's Thanksgiving grace. ...lots to be thankful for this year, folks. Lots to be thankful for.

Insert {Happy Dance} Here

Today is the day that my mom KNEW it would be. My dad had his doubts. (I have to admit that I did too.) MY MOM'S BACK BRACE IS OFF! THE BRACE IS OFF! THE BRACE IS OFF! Dad and Mom were talking to the surgeon today and there was an intern in the room. Dr. Weller was going over the specifics of the accident, the surgery, her recovery etc. and again, called her a "miracle". I'm sorry, folks, but that will never get old to me. That just doesn't happen every day! He said that in three months (her next appointment), she'll likely be 80%. By August (a year from the accident), she'll be at her "new normal", whatever that may be. Here's to hoping that her "new normal" and her "old normal" are the same...she apparently isn't very good at taking "no" for an answer so I'm feeling as if that might be the case. He did say that the neuropathy (horrific pain and discomfort in her feet) may not get any better. For many patients it does. However, due to the specifics of her specific injury, surgery and recovery, he's not feeling so hopeful. However, her response (of course) is "I don't believe him." And off she'll go - kicking ass. To be continued... I remember a day when I took my Usher Dupey (my mom's dad) to the hospital years ago. I can't remember the specifics (I think I blocked a lot of the day from my mind) but he hadn't been able to eat anything solid in quite a while. After a given amount of time, he had a follow-up appointment and he was sure that he was going to get the go-ahead to eat normally again. I can see him so vividly sitting in the doctor's office as the doctor told him that his body just wasn't ready yet. He was so defeated. So sad. So disappointed. That is one of the worst memories of my life and even though he eventually was fine again, it still makes me so sad to think of it. I never wanted to see him like that again. (Thankfully I didn't.) If I had to see my mom feel that same way, I don't know what I would do. I was worried that my mom would have one of those days today. I was so afraid that she'd be told that her body wasn't ready yet. Selfishly, I was glad that I was not the one to bring her to her appointment today. (Nice daughter I am, huh?) But now that THE BRACE IS OFF!!!, I see that, really, we have nothing to worry about. She has it all under control. We just need to watch her work her magic.

Par-Tay. Well, Not Really

I just picked up the bouncy house for the girls.
Now to keep it a surprise until Sunday.

What is it with me and surprises?  I don't like to be surprised all that much.  I have no idea why I am completely obsessed with surprising M and H. (If you are with me on a regular basis, you know what I mean.  If you are not with me on a regular basis, consider yourself lucky - for many reasons.)

Anyway, I am loving the idea of the girls' bday this year.  They will be 11 on 11/11.  At 11:20 and 11:22.   Too bad it's not 2011. (Poor planning on our part.)

Anyway, they have rehearsal on Sunday and so, before and after, some FSPA buds are coming over.  Really, that's the whole day.  We have nothing officially "birthday-ish" planned.  It's not even a "birthday party".  They've never really been fans of having "birthday parties".  In fact, the last one they had was when they were in first grade, I think.  Maybe even kindergarten.  We got home and they agreed that it was fun but really nothing they had to do again.  It didn't take much more than that to convince us.  Money saved.  Thanks, girls.

This day will be no different than any other time they have this crew come over.   (Well, except for the bouncy house. I guess we don't typically have that parked out back.  Other than that, I mean).

But really, they'll make countless action movies and music videos.  They will ask their buddy, J, how "life on the road" is. (He's playing "Chip" in Beauty and the Beast and, as luck would have it, is home for three weeks.  How terribly convenient!  They are so excited for him but can't wait for his run to be over so that he can come home again!!)

They will all dance (and bounce) and sing (and bounce) and eat cake and pizza (and bounce).  The shin-dig will be interrupted because they all have to go to rehearsal at FSPA for a bit and then they'll all come back and hang (and bounce) some more.  (And if it rains, ah well.  It's the thought that counts.)

It's sure to be the easiest, no fuss, day ever.  In fact, we probably won't see them at all - except to drive them to and from FSPA.  And even then, they won't pay all the much attention to us.  Isn't that what "11" is, after all?  Mom and Dad Who?

I love that they don't feel the need to make a big deal about their b-day.

I'd like to think that they feel that way because every day is a party.  Why shouldn't it be when you're 11?

And on a completely unrelated note, I'm home early today.  I am equally in love with Rob Lowe and Ellen Degeneres.

Love

2 kids + 2 grandparents + weekend = happiness
1 wife + 1 husband + weekend (without kids) = happiness
(No offense, kids...)

Win (for them).  Win (for them).  Win (for us).

Every time we had a moment last week, our conversation inevitably ended up with something like "remember that Nonie WANTS to be 1,807 mph as she's used to.  But she's not (just yet)."

"We know.  Don't worry."

But we did.  I didn't talk to my mom today (and only talked to her for a bit yesterday).  I'm sure she was beyond exhausted.  And yet, she'd never complain.  Love.

This weekend, for H, M and my parents, was just what it "should" be.  Not because anyone expects it to be but just because that's how they've always done "their weekends" for years.  Going here.  Going there.  Shopping here, there and everywhere.  Movies.  Dinners out.  Take out.  Church.  FSPA.  Staying up late.  Cooking.  You name it.  They do it.  This weekend was something that I wasn't sure they'd ever be able to do again.  And they did it.  M and H haven't stopped smiling.  And so, neither have we.  Love.

Every time we talked to the girls, they regaled us with more and more stories.  It made my heart smile.  Love. 

And while they were having a blast and a half, so were we.  Love.

We started the weekend by celebrating the beginnings of a theater downtown, "The Black Box."  Although I have nothing to do with the why's, how's or what's of this black box, I am infinitely proud of all those that do.  Their determination and "don't take no's" are a lesson to watch and admire.  I am beyond excited for this and can't wait for this next chapter.  We celebrated this night with friends, many of whom we consider family.  While so many there asked where my parents were, I knew that they were just where they belong.  As much as they'd have liked to have joined in the festivities, they (at that point) were home in the pjs, eating popcorn, cuddling and watching movies with "the rugrats" aka "the goobers".  Love.

The next day, G and I hit the road for Newport, one of our favorite places, to celebrate out 16th anniversary.  As horrifyingly old as that makes me feel, we had a blast (as I knew we would).  I can only liken myself to the Hungry Little Catepillar.   We just kept eating and drinking our way across the city.  With all of Newport Restaurant Week at our disposal all day and night, I opted to end the night with six powdered mini-donuts from 7eleven as we walked home.  Sometimes I love myself with my choices.  The weather was gorg, the food (including the 99 cent donuts) and drink yum and the company quite great as well.  (As much as I say he drives me nuts - and I'm sure he does the same of me - we're really a match made in Heaven.  I don't know who else would put up with either of us!!)  Love.

Our bed and breakfast was perfect, minus the woman I yelled at at 8am.  (I can't do the story justice here.  The next time you see me, ask.  I'll still be fired up about her.  Idiot.)  Other than this dumbass...Love.

We came home on Sunday, picked up the girls and off I went to spend the afternoon with my oldest and dearest buds (minus one).   We pick up where we left off.  Every single time.  Love.

Today, it was sadly back to reality.  Don't get me wrong.  My daily grind's not all that stressful.  But it's weekends like this that make you want to rewind and do it all over again.  Love.

Except for the dumbass...don't want to do that over again.  (Although seeing G's face after I yelled at her...that'd be fun to see again.) 

Love (with a little splash of crazy).

Bits and Pieces

As we sit here and watch (what is hopefully the last game of the season), I can't help but think of how funny I find it that Guy refuses to believe that I was a good softball player when I was younger.  I was, in fact, an All-Star second base/shortstop.  I also - ahem - batted fourth.  Anyway, it's sort of a running joke between us.  Most folks likely are surprised by my softball prowess.  (I clearly used up all my sportsmanship before I hit puberty.)

You may also be surprised by this:  (and I'm pretty sure that I've already written a blog like this so pardon.)

I can name an embarrassing number of WWF wrestlers from the 1980's.

I only eat certain foods (like strawberries, grapes and cookies) in multiples of two.

I hate (and actually get nervous) when I have to make coffee.

I also am equally unnerved when I have to drive with other adults in the car.

It would take a lot of will power to leave my house in the morning with my bed unmade or with dirty dishes in the sink.

If I could dress every day like someone in a movie, it'd be Natalie Portman's character in "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium."

I could quite easily eat an entire pound of macaroni or a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream in a sitting.  (And I said "or" not "and" - don't get that grossed out.)  But don't dare me.

The feel of dirty feet nauseates me.

One of my favorite movies is "Mommy Dearest".

I haven't thrown up since I was nine.

New office supplies make me giddy.  (Especially those colored erasers that you put on the ends of pencils.)

The idea of getting dressed up in a Halloween costume and going to a party makes me so stressed out I nearly break out in hives at the mere thought.

I sleep with a bat under the bed when Guy is away.

I still have all the notes my mom put in my lunches since junior high.

If I didn't do what I do, I'd love to be an interior decorator.  Or someone who prepares food for cooking demos and magazine covers.  Or a hostess at Pipinelle's but that ship has sailed.  (And there's only room in my heart for one Pip's hostess anyway...)

Other than during my driving lessons, I've never needed to parallel park (even in my parking test.)
Well, that's not true.  There are times when I need to...I just keep driving until I no longer need to...(I also helped a dear bestie pass her driving test while flirting with her guy in the front seat so he wouldn't notice how bad she was at parallel parking.)

In high school, I really and truly wanted to marry in to the mob.  Thank goodness I had a change of heart. 

Nearly every day, I wish I was in training for another marathon.

I have never, not once, wished we'd had another baby after H and M.

I've never tried relish or fluff.  And I never will.

I was so angry at my (then newly ex-boyfriend at the time) that I kicked my foot through our cellar door.  (I think that, secretly, my dad was so proud.)

I've never gone on a job interview or needed to prepare my own resume.  (Although I'm pretty sure I'd kick ass on both.)  Hopefully, I'll never need to find out.

And on that note, there are going to be a lot of tired Bostonians heading in to work tomorrow.  GO SOX!

Sibs and Sox

My aunt/godmother is visiting for a few days from North Carolina.  She and my uncle/her brother made a bet early this summer that if the Sox made it to the World Series, she would travel up from NC and they'd go to a game together.  Neither one of them wanted to jinx anything so I don't think they talked about it much after the initial conversation.  Needless to say, as I type this, the Sox are trailing 1-0.  Surely, I hope they win.  But either way, that they (especially my uncle) are at a Sox World Series game, brings me such joy.  He has been a HUGE fan of the game (he's a bit freakish - and I mean that in the nicest way possible) for his entire life, surely as long as I can remember.  My aunt is a huge fan as well and I love that they are there together.

This alone, should be making me smile tonight.  But it's really what happened before they left for the game that is really making me smile.

I met up with my uncle and aunt and mom today out for lunch. Three siblings that, in some ways, couldn't be more different from each other.  And yet, three siblings that rock the world when they are together.  Seeing them together makes my heart smile.  Honestly, my stomach hurt from laughing at the three of them today.  It was awesome. 

A few months ago, to say we didn't think the Sox would be in the World Series is an understatement. 
A few months ago, to say we didn't think my mom would be eating lunch out at a restaurant is an even bigger understatement.

H and M's first fear spoken was "will Nonie be able to teach us how to cook ever again?"
My first fear was "will she be able to come to a piano recital again?"  My second thought was "how will we ever 'go out' with ease again?"  Now that I think of it, it's funny.  We don't even "go out" all that often.  We are definitely a stay-in and hang with family and friends crew. However, I just couldn't imagine how we'd do it.

And yet, two months after the worst day of our lives, my mom (TMM, for those of you who have been following her journey) is rocking the world - walking, working, driving, and "going out" again.

Life's not the same as it was.  But it is pretty close.  (Well, I guess she'd beg to differ with regards to that statement.  And she has every right to - and then some.)  But it WILL be.  I honestly believe that, next year at this time, this will be a memory.

A shitty memory. But a memory, nonetheless.

And a memory of a ridiculously brave mom.  And an amazing dad who has not left her side.  Not for a minute.  (Even when they both are driving each other nuts!!)

As I typed this last bit, the Sox went up 2-1.  That's gotta mean something.