I Remember

My amazing cousins are spending their first night at home with their delicious new baby tonight - and it got me thinking about our Four Family's first few nights at home.  Thirteen plus years ago. 

I remember driving home with them for the first time. I squooshed my fat "arse" in the back seat between their car seats because I apparently thought they were safer that way.  I'm shocked that I'm not still stuck back there. I swear to God I'm not a helicopter parent.

I remember the big signs around the house that my parents made us.  "Congrats and Welcome Home, Mumma and Daddy". I couldn't believe they were talking about us.

I remember talking to our neighbors who are now best buddies of ours as they were standing in their yard and we drove by.  They were going out somewhere that night and I never thought we'd ever go out.  Ever again.

I remember a bunch of people coming over our house that night for dinner.  I couldn't believe that there were two babies to add to this crazy macaroni eating, wine drinking crew.  (They learned to love macaroni very, very quickly.)  Not that I ever doubted it, but I knew that our Village was massive and strong.

I remember my cousin, who was 2 1/2 at the time, drawing all over our finished basement walls with marker and not being phased by it at all.  I was amazed at that moment how quickly my priorities had changed. (My mom got the marker out with toothpaste before she and my dad went home...)

I remember putting them to bed and one of them (is it bad that I have no idea which one?) got the hiccups.  I wondered if she'd ever stop hiccuping. I couldn't believe that everyone had gone, we had no nurses and we were in charge of these two itty bitty things. We. Had. No. Idea. What. We. Were. Doing. ("Please, baby, stop hiccuping.  Please.  For the love of God, stop hiccuping...!!!)

I remember going upstairs to bed the second night "for a quick nap" while my dad was over.  I woke up about six hours later and walked downstairs to find my dad and Guy feeding them, burping and changing them. I remember thinking how lucky I was.

I remember being amazed at how we needed to wake them up every two hours during the day to feed them but they woke up screaming, like clock-work, every night.

I remember feeding them around 3am, truly believing that I was the only person in the world awake at that ungodly hour.

I remember watching Guy wrap them up as "baby burritos", completely and utterly amazed at how natural he was with them, considering he'd never spent much more than a few minutes with a baby. Ever.

I remember Guy lifting up each baby burrito to his ear, pretending that it was a phone.  "Hello?!  Hello?!"  He nearly gave my dad and gram a heart attack every single time. 

I remember always putting Hannah's bottle on the left and Maddie's bottle on the right.  We had to be very careful because we had to record every ounce they ate for months.  Like we had nothing else to do...

I remember twitching (figuratively, not literally) when one of them got dirty and had to be changed and the other one didn't.  I changed them both every time for years.  That made more even more laundry. That was fun.

I remember wondering if Hannah was really Hannah and Maddie was really Maddie or if somehow we may have messed that up.  Oh God...???!!!

I remember not wanting either one of them to become too dependent falling asleep on us for fear that they'd need us to fall asleep.
I would fall asleep with them by my side every night now, if I could.

I remember my parents taking them overnight for one night a month forEVER.  You don't need to tell us how fortunate we were and still are.  And I know that we should have done something more fun and exciting for the first few months but sleep was truly my main concern.

I remember singing "Beautiful" to them.  All day long.

I remember thinking that formula and bottles were the greatest invention ever.

I remember watching them sleep in the same bassinet, side by side, for quite some time.  Some things never change.

I remember taking them to the store with Guy for the first time. It was pouring and I thought they'd melt.  People followed them around the aisle from time to time just to look at them.  I thought it was so funny but I wasn't the one who had to talk to them.  "So, did you KNOW you were having twins?  How can you tell them apart?  One looks JUST like you (pointing to Guy).  Are they identical?  Are you having MORE?"

I remember bringing them outside for the first time by myself. It was so cold it literally took Hannah's breath away. I still imitate her each year on the first day it is really cold. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm hysterical.

I remember.  Like it was yesterday.