One Step At A Time

The girls were, maybe one and a half.  

They had recently taken over the entire house and were in to EVERYTHING.  Not coincidentally, it's just about the time that I started to develop gray hairs.  

I was in the kitchen.  They were in the playroom.  

I heard hustle and bustle of two one-year-olds. And then I heard silence. 

I walked in to the playroom, not knowing what I'd find.  

What I found was M, all askew, diaper bum stuck in the air, with her head stuck between two bannisters in the stairway going upstairs.  

H just stared at her knowing, I think, that something was quite wrong but clearly couldn't articulate that things had gone awry. They had been having such a great time only moments ago.  Things had been going so well.

I ran downstairs and grabbed the saw and sawed the child out of the bannister. 

This was just one of the many times that I realized that parenting was really not possible without a good stash of wine readily available. 

It WAS almost noon.

Mea Culpa

When hanging up the phone with the girls, G or my parents, I ALWAYS say "'K.  Love you.  'Bye."  I don't even think about it.  I just do it. It's not that I don't mean it - it's just something I've always done. 

This past weekend, over dinner, I was reminded of this story.  It makes me laugh. 

I was on the phone with a FSPA dad.  His son and daughter have been students forEVER.  He's super nice. His wife is super nice.  His kids are super nice.  

I was on the phone with him and - yep, you guessed it.  As we hung up, I said to him, under no uncertain terms, "'K.  Love you.  'Bye." 

I nearly died. 

I called him right back and told him that, while I did (and still do) think he's great - I don't like him in THAT way.    Thankfully, he has a great sense of humor.  He said that he wished I could have see his face as we hung up the phone.  

I wish he could have seen mine. 

That's one way to get more students, I suppose...

Reality

M and H have finished up their first full week of middle school. They both got 10/10 on their first grade.
I think they think they are Harvard-bound.
In a few minutes, they will finish up their first (nearly full) week of FSPA.
They have been staring at their feet, waiting for the pointe shoe blisters to appear since Monday.
(They are weird. And yet, I understand).

This week was great.  Everything went as well as we could have possibly hoped for.  Phew.
But I missed them.
I get so used to seeing them over the summer-even while I was at work. (Have I mentioned that I love my job?)
But because of this, the first few weeks of September are always a culture shock for me.

We will head down the cape as soon as they finish up class. Yes, please.
I can't wait to have an entire uninterrupted hour to chat and re-connect as we head over the bridge.

Until they start bugging me and I turn up the radio so that I can't hear them anymore.

Reading and Writing and 'Rithmetic

I don't consider myself a runner.  But I've run a marathon.  Well, two, actually. 
I don't consider myself a runner.  But I started to write a book.
Today.

I had no idea I was going to start to write a book when I woke up this morning.
In fact, I emailed G and told him about it this afternoon.  He asked what it was about - and I never responded (work's busy - first week of school...)

Yup.  I'm going to do it.
I have no idea how to go about writing a book.  Tonight, I wrote the forward and the credits - and a little bit more.  (It took about 30 minutes and I jotted down a lot of ideas while I was waiting to pick up the girls from school.  Being a mother = multi-tasking.)

My book may end up only consisting of 8 1/2 x 11 sheets of paper bound by one of these:

that my closest friends and family read at a birthday party or Saturday night hang.

But I think it's fun to think that it may end up being something more.  

Who knows?

To be continued...

No Thank You

You know when you were little and you'd close your eyes when something was happening in front of you that you didn't want to see?
Sometimes it took seconds, sometimes minutes, but when you opened your eyes, it was always gone.

As if it never happened.  
The Bad Guy.  The Monster.  The Boogie Man.

If you just closed your eyes long enough, it eventually went away.

I've been closing my eyes for a year now, pretending that something that was, in fact, happening was not.
On behalf of a friend.
A friend whose family has been in my life for so long, while I know there was a time when I didn't know them, I honestly can't remember that time.
They aren't the "talk to every day" friends.  Or even the "talk to every month" friends.
They are the "you know how much you mean to me, unconditional" friends.  You know the kind that, no matter what happens, you know they'll always be around for you friends.

They are fighting a fight quietly and with nothing but dignity.  

They are amazingly strong.  I honestly don't know how they are doing this.

They are in it together.  That is simply how they are.

And still, all I can do is close my eyes and, from the core of my being, the deepest part of my soul, will it away.

Please, dear God.

She

She laughs.
She cooks.
She cleans, weeds, paints, creates, decorates and "Martha Stewarts" like no one's business.
She knows this sucks. 

She hosts people at the house and cottage, all hours of the day and night.
She makes you eat and drink even when you really don't want to.
She makes you eat and drink even when you really can't.
She knows this sucks.

She walks to and kneels in church (for the first time in nearly a year) because she finally can.
She smiles.
She knows how fortunate she is.
She also knows this sucks.

She plays with H and M and is the funnest person they know.
She cooks with H and M and is the best chef around.
She still only thinks of others.
She knows this sucks.

She won't let this get in her way.
Even though it does.
Every minute of every one of her days.
She knows this sucks. 

She is truly amazing.

Say Cheese

I sometimes have my students play a game in my classes where I show them a picture and then I ask them to come up with a name or caption for the picture. 

If I were playing this game, my answers for this picture would be:

Don't Let Life Get In the Way Of Life.

 

Making Lemonade Out of Lemons.

 

Live Life To The Fullest.

Don't Be Fooled.  Things Suck More Than They Appear.

 

Surround Yourself With Love. 

 

Blessed.